Positive COVID Test Day 1

Thoughts on a Positive COVID Test Day 1

Tuesday, September 7, 2021

Fuck.

I did everything right. Two doses of Moderna in January/February this year. Me and mine have been masking again even though we aren’t mandated to do so BECAUSE IT’S THE RIGHT THING TO DO TO KEEP EVERYONE SAFE AND HEALTHY.

That sinus infection I thought I had because I’ve had them so many times before because I live in the Allergy Capital of the Freaking Country, well, turns out that was COVID. Turns out, according to the doc at the walk-in clinic where they COULD NOT do a rapid COVID test for me on Monday, said the primary symptoms they were seeing in vaccinated people mimicked sinus infection symptoms: congestion, cough, drainage, runny nose, fever, and fatigue. In retrospect, my cheeks not being sore due to sinus pressure could have been my first clue this wasn’t an ordinary sinus infection.

PSA: Kroger Pharmacy hours are different on Labor Day than the rest of the year. After being given an antibiotic for what both the doc and I thought was a sinus infection, I headed straight to Kroger to get my prescription. I felt really puny and I don’t like feeling puny. It makes me mad. When the drive-through was closed I just thought it was maybe due to a staffing shortage or maybe the light saying “OPEN” was burned out, so I went inside. Masked of course. BECAUSE I CARE ABOUT MY FELLOW FUCKING HUMANS. Got to the pharmacy and saw the metal grate pulled across the counter. Saw a sign that said pharmacy closes at 3:00 p.m.  It was 3:04 p.m. People were still inside. I could see them. And listen, I’ve been that dude that has to stay late and work because people didn’t respect business hours, but man, really? Today? But I’m sick and I really need that medicine that’s not going to help me because I have COVID but I don’t know it yet.

How many bites of ice cream do you think it would take you to realize there doesn’t seem to be any cookies, or cream, in that ice cream? I think it took me four.  I couldn’t taste ice cream. OMG. I dug down into the container (who uses bowls anyway, be honest) to find the biggest piece of cookie I could find and plopped it into my mouth. The texture was what I expected it to be, but it wasn’t sweet. No flavor. I tried again just for good measure. Nothing. My first hit-me-over-the-head-I-have-COVID clue. Still, you can lose taste with a sinus infection right?

No taste, what about smell? I took the lid off the candle I keep on the side table and plunged my nose into it. Took a deep breath. Usually a delightful smell of lime, coconut, and vanilla rushes up through my nostrils intense enough to make me think I’m back in Key West for a moment. Maybe a small whiff of coconut, but not the usual aromatic blast I’m used to.

I’d made the kids stay away from me all day JUST IN CASE IT’S COVID. But it couldn’t be COVID because I’d followed all the rules, right?

All that happened Monday. Now it’s Tuesday. Fevers make me puny. Did I mention I don’t like feeling puny?

I stayed in my room all day Tuesday except when I went to get my COVID test and when I went downstairs to get something to eat. I wore a mask and everyone had to be in different rooms. When I was done making my food, I wiped everything down and went back upstairs.

I’m mildy claustrophobic. I don’t like feeling trapped or confined.

COVID: DETECTED.

Fuck.

My 10-year old struggles with anxiety that I’m going to die.

Hi, honey, yes, Mama has COVID, but I’ve been vaccinated so I’ll have a mild case, but we can’t have hugs or cuddles until I’m not contagious anymore.

But you aren’t supposed to get it because you got vaccinated.

I know, baby, but I got it early and maybe it’s wearing off a bit, but I’m going to be OK. I just need to stay in my room for a while.

Will I get it?

Well, I hope not, but we’ll get you tested to be sure and even if you do get it, you’ll have a really mild case. You might not even know you have it at all!

*tears in the biggest sweetest blue eyes you’ve ever seen* OK. Are you going to be OK?

Yes, baby, I’m going to be OK.

Am I going to be OK?

Yes, baby, we are all going to be OK.

Fury rages inside me.

Later Tuesday night my son and I compromise that he can lie in the hall outside my room with the door cracked a little bit because he needs to see I am OK.

The rage inside me intensifies. My sweet boy is at the door with tears in his eyes wondering if his mama is going to die and I can’t go hug him or touch him or squeeze him or use anything but my words to comfort him. All because uneducated, stubborn people refuse to listen to 99.9% of public health official IN THE FUCKING WORLD and TAKE THE GODDAMN VACCINE. Right now I hate all of you. This country should not be in the state it’s in because we have medical therapies that by now could’ve provided us herd immunity from this virus. You’d take chemotherapy if a doctor told you to. You’d take an antibiotic if a doctor told you to. And almost every one of you and your children have taken vaccines before. THEY ARE SAFE.

And for all those people reading that I just offended, don’t @ me. I don’t care. You are the problem.

I can’t hug my petrified little boy because of your ignorance and stupidity. Think of all those people dying in hospitals right now who can’t be with their families because you thought the .1% of whackjobs telling you the vaccine is dangerous and it’s all a conspiracy by Bill Gates and whothefuckeverelse to put tracking chips in your brain sounds legit. OMG.

Yes, I got the vaccine and yes, I got COVID. No, that is not a reason to not get the vaccine. Even though I’ve got COVID, I’m insanely less likely to need the hospital, even less likelier to need an ICU bed, and less likely still to need a ventilator. Get the vaccine.

I don’t know who is still reading, but I am so blessed to have so many people check on me. I have besties who brought over chicken soup, Vitamin C, and an oximeter. I have besties who made me laugh by blaming my COVID diagnosis on a BoogeyWoman, whose fault it really wasn’t, but that made me laugh until I almost coughed up a lung. I have neighbors checking on me. My BFF checks on me and lets me rant/cough/rant/cough. I’ve had people who I really don’t know that well ask if there is anything they can do for us. For all of that I’m so very incredibly thankful.

Last, my first day of COVID diagnosis saw no fever, a mild cough, and some headaches. I am lucky. I can’t taste beer, though. Please say a prayer my kiddos will be OK and that I’ll be able to enjoy ice cream and beer again (not together, gross).

Now, get the fucking vaccine and wear a fucking mask.

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